您的位置: 站长主页 -> 繁星客栈 -> 茶 室 -> “女友1.0”升级指南 | November 22, 2024 |
“女友1.0”升级指南
卢昌海 发表文章数: 768
|
“女友1.0”升级指南 [文章类型: 转载]
去年,我的一个朋友把他的女友1.0 升级到了女友1.0Plus
(正式名称为未婚妻1.0 )。最近,他又把未婚妻1.0 升级到 了老婆1.0。很快他就发现,老婆1.0占用了全部系统资源, 根本没有剩余空间运行其他应用程序了。他发现老婆1.0 在 安装一段时间后,会自动生成一个程序小孩儿1.0 ,这个程 序更加耗费资源。而这种情况,在老婆1.0 的用户手册中并 没有说明。其实别的老婆1.0的用户曾经提醒过他,说这是 安装老婆1.0 后的必然结果,他当时怎么没当回事儿呢?远 不止这些!老婆1.0 在安装后,会自动启动,在后台运行,24 小时不间断地监视系统的所有动作,其它应用程序如麻将10.3、 足球7.0 、酒吧2.5等都不能再运行了;如果你企图运行这些 程序,系统会立即崩溃。可是在没安装老婆1.0之前,这些程 序运行的很好,从来都没问题。还有一个问题让他更没脾气: 在安装老婆1.0 时,必须同时安装丈人5.8 、丈母娘5.8、 小舅子Beta等插件——这些插件是老婆1.0基本程序的一部分, 既不能在安装时选择最小安装或自定义安装,也不能在安装 后删除或卸载。 这还不是最糟糕的!最糟糕的是:老婆1.0一天天地运行下来, 他发现系统的性能也一天比一天糟糕了。他问我,升级到老 婆2.0是不是会好些呢。如果有这个升级版本,他希望能够添 加几项新功能:一个“别再烦我”按钮;一个“最小化”按 钮;“挂起”功能;“安全卸载/ 恢复”功能:允许在任何时 候卸载老婆2.0,也可以在任何时候恢复它,而且在执行卸载 和恢复操作时绝对不会破坏系统的任何其它资源。因为这个朋 友的遭遇,我决定保留女友2.0,而不升级到老婆1.0但是我也 同样遇到了很多问题。首先,只有卸载女友1.0以后,才能安 装女友2.0。有人告诉我这是一个已经存在了很长很长时间的 bug ,因为这两个版本使用了相同的I/O端口,所以引起了资 源冲突。我很想卸载女友1.0 ,但是它本身没有卸载程序。我 试图手工卸载,但是发现女友1.0已经成为系统文件的一部分, 根本不可能删除得干干净净。我还发现所有版本的的女友在运 行时,都会不停地弹出同样的信息:叫你赶快升级到老婆1.0. 这种没完没了的提示让我心烦,但是这些窗口没法关闭——相 信我,我想尽了办法,我已经江郎才尽啦! 宠辱不惊,看庭前花开花落
|
||
Omni 发表文章数: 280
|
Girlfriend 7.0 To Wife 1.0 [文章类型: 混合]
[Note]: There are tons of different versions on this interesting analogy. The earliest Chinese version I read dates back to 1998 or 1999. But I think English versions of this topic usually read better than Chinese ones. Here is one example webpage with more creativity in the writings ---
http://www.rakkav.com/homeworlds/funnybones/pages/girlfriend7.htm Dear Technical Support: Last year I upgraded from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0 and noticed that the new program began unexpected child processing that took up a lot of space and valuable resources. No mention of this phenomenon was included in the product brochure. In addition, Wife 1.0 installs itself into all other programs and launches during system initialization, where it monitors all other system activity. Applications such as Poker Night 10.3, Drunken Boys Night 2.5 and Saturday Football 5.0 no longer run, crashing the system whenever selected. I cannot seem to keep Wife 1.0 in the background while attempting to run some of my other favorite applications. I am thinking about going back to Girlfriend 7.0, but the uninstall does not work on this program. Can you help me, please!!! Thanks, A TROUBLED USER Dear TROUBLED USER: This is a very common problem men complain about, but is mostly due to a primary misconception. Many people upgrade from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0 with the idea that Wife 1.0 is merely a UTILITIES & ENTERTAINMENT program. Wife 1.0 is an OPERATING SYSTEM and designed by its creator to run everything. It is unlikely you would be able to purge Wife 1.0 and still convert back to Girlfriend 7.0. Hidden operating files within your system would cause Girlfriend 7.0 to emulate Wife 1.0 so nothing is gained. It is impossible to uninstall, delete, or purge the program files from the system once installed. You cannot go back to Girlfriend 7.0 because Wife 1.0 is not designed to do this. Some have tried to install Girlfriend 8.0 or Wife 2.0 but end up with more problems than with the original system. Look in your manual under "Warnings-Alimony/Child Support". I recommend you keep Wife 1.0 and just deal with the situation. I suggest installing background application program C:\YES DEAR to alleviate software augmentation. Having Wife 1.0 installed myself, I might also suggest you read the entire section regarding General Partnership Faults (GPFs). You must assume all responsibility for faults and problems that might occur, regardless of their cause. The best course of action will be to enter the command C:\APOLOGIZE. In any case avoid excessive use of YES DEAR because ultimately you will have to give the APOLOGIZE command before the operating system will return to normal. The system will run smoothly as long as you take the blame for all the GPFs. Wife 1.0 is a great program, but very high maintenance. Consider buying additional software to improve the performance of Wife 1.0. I recommend Flowers 2.1 and Diamonds 5.0. Do not, under any circumstances, install Secretary With Short Skirt 3.3. This is not a supported application for Wife 1.0 and is likely to cause irreversible damage to the operating system. Best of luck, Tech Support
|
||
不再空虚 发表文章数: 62
|
Re: “女友1.0”升级指南 [文章类型: 原创]
呵呵,想象力好丰富:-)编科普读物的高手!
“求你开我的眼睛,使我看出你律法中的奇妙。”(诗119:18)
|
||
Tom 发表文章数: 55
|
Re: “女友1.0”升级指南 [文章类型: 原创]
有意思。
|
||
Omni 发表文章数: 280
|
October 1998 Version [文章类型: 混合]
I was able to dig out this 1998 version on my hard drive using Google Desktop, it appears to be translated from an original English version:
去年我的一位朋友将 GirlFriend 6.0 版升级到 Wife 1.0版,发现这耗费 了大量内存,几乎没有给其他应用程序留下一点系统资源。 现在他还注意 到 Wife 1.0 正孕育着 Child Processes, 这将消耗更多有价值的资源。 显然 Wife 1.0 是个单任务,单通道,独占系统全部资源的程序。 在产品的宣传手册和文档中并没有指出这种特别的现象,尽管其它用户曾经 提醒过他根据应用程序的自然规律这是可以预料的。不仅如此, Wife 1.0 自动安装成在系统初始化时自动运行,以监视所有其它的应用程序的运行。 他发现诸如 PokerNight 10.3,BeerBash 2.5 和 PubNight 7.0等等应用程 序再也不能运行了。 一选择系统便挂起(尽管这程序以前都工作的很好)。 在安装时, Wife 1.0 自动装载了用户所不期望的 Plug-Ins,例如 MotherInLaw 55.8 (岳母)和 BrotherInLaw Beta 发行版(内弟)。结果 是系统性能日渐下降。 他希望能在即将发行的 Wife 2.0 版中看到以下功能: ."Don't remind me again" 〔别再提醒我〕按钮 . Minimize(最小化)按钮 . Install Shield(安装保护)功能,在安装 Wife 2.0 时可以选择随时 Uninstall 而不损失任何缓存和系统资源。 . 在混杂(promiscuous)模式下运行网络驱动器的选择,这样可以使系统 硬件探查功能发挥更大的作用。 我自己则尽量避免由过分亲密的 GirlFriend 2.0 而和 Wife 1.0 相关联所引 起的所有的令人头痛的事。但我还是遇到很多问题。 显然,你不能在 GirlFriend 1.0 上安装 GirlFriend 2.0。你必须先 Uninstall GirlFriend 1.0。其它用户说这是我应该注意的一个永远的 bug。显然, GirlFriend 的不同版本在共享 I/O 端口上是相互冲突的。 当然,如果你的 时间片分配的合理的话,暂时也不会引起很大的不兼容性。 更糟的是,GirlFriend 1.0 的 Uninstall 程序工作得不是很好, 在系统中常常会留 下意想不到的程序运行轨迹。 另一个令人烦恼的问题是 GirlFriend 的各个版本不停地弹出有关升级到 Wife 1.0 的好处的消息。 ****** BUG WARNING ****** Wife 1.0 有一个未公开的 bug。如果你想安装 Mistress 1.1 (情人), Wife 1.0 将在自己 Uninstall 前删除硬盘中所有的 MS-Money 文件。这样 Mistress 1.1 会声明系统资源不足,拒绝安装。 ****** BUG WORK-AROUNDS ****** 为避免上诉 BUG,建议在不同的系统上安装 Mistress 1.1,并不再使用任何 文件传输软件,比如 Laplink 6.0。同时注意一些相似的带有病毒的共享软件 可能感染 Wife 1.0。 另一个解决方法是,用匿名访问 UseNet provider 来运行 Mistress 1.1。 再次提醒,谨防意外从 UseNet 上下载的病毒。
|
||
littlebird 发表文章数: 863
|
Re: “女友1.0”升级指南 [文章类型: 原创]
昌海兄还有写这种文章的才能,大为惊讶.哈哈~~
松下问童子,言师采药去.
|
||
卢昌海 发表文章数: 768
|
Re: “女友1.0”升级指南 [文章类型: 原创]
:: 昌海兄还有写这种文章的才能,大为惊讶
那是转载 宠辱不惊,看庭前花开花落
|
||
littlebird 发表文章数: 863
|
Re: “女友1.0”升级指南 [文章类型: 原创]
没看清,怪偶是"四只眼",但确实是很有意思的文章!
松下问童子,言师采药去.
|
||
kanex 发表文章数: 447
|
Re: “女友1.0”升级指南 [文章类型: 原创]
翻译第一篇文章的是高手,文字功夫相当好。
Récoltes et semailles
|
您尚未登陆 | 用户登陆 |